my life, my stories

for the past 1 1/2 month i have short surgery posting..which is like the best time in the life of an intern ..especially an intern in KEM..very little to almost nil work..umpteen time to kill.. HEAVEN. so u say what is the problem. well my fear of the unforseen future,my long surgery posting.. even as i sit in ac comfort of the library my mind wanders into the dreary and depressing wards of surgery. i sit and think"this is the best part of my life..and what am i doing with it..i shud be studying hard like all others..this time is never returning.must make the most of it."..then another thought comes,"no i shud go out and enjoy..my youth has passed me by,let me discover bombay,discover life,fun ,discover the night life..discover me..i shud not be sitting in this lib mugging up connective tissue diseases." and so the story continues..the story of my life.. and the short surgery posting is coming to an end,i must get back to the grind in precisely a week..WHAM.! real...

i breathe therefore i exist..i think therefore i am.. loads of ppl think that i think too much,but then that's just me.. the way i see -- if it makes u happy then just do it,and pondering and dreaming and thinking make me..mmm content,happy even. it's like having a refreshing conversation with someone who shares your same wave length-YOU. when u r thinking u r basically spending time with your self,you against yourself,me in tune with moi. and a blog is just that..my thoughts,my views,my life..my story..

They didn't understand my words how would they understand my silence. it wasn't that i walked away.. it is just that i kept walking.. but time had stood still. there are no tears but sorrow still, i am hurting and in pain, but hope to heal.. there is solace in silence, but i dont expect them to understand. a frozen moment... and frosty memories... There are countless moments when words are just not enough.. when u feel misunderstood ,or just cant express what u feel. breaking up is tough and being single is a scary feeling. but hey "i've got all my life to live ,i've got all my love to give and i'll survive.." ...sigh ..who am i kidding.. for all those who have felt that heart wrenching,pain in the gut feeling.. 'FROZEN' is apoem for u.. it is like putting ice on an aching sore.. kind of numbs the pain..

A secret sorrow.. of losing someone.. a sorrow i wish to share.. I've lost a piece of me.. can't find it anywher... a strange vulnerability... loneliness overwhelms me.. alone in a strange city.. I've lost a piece of me.. I hear the whispers.. it's only the wind.. i hear a voice.. just traffic noise.. lonely and scared.. vulnerable to the world, helpless against the wrath.. i face the future unarmed.. I've lost a piece of me.. the loss of innocence I feel a searing pain.. a pain that will never fade. kuheli This poem was written at a time of deep despair,and now that i look back on this poem i wrote back then,i realise that,it is not your successes that make u stronger but your failures.. it is wonderful to look back ..and say.."i survived!!"