my life, my stories

as i prepare to leave mumbai, and moveto sunny goa..or wherever the winds of change take me, i realise that mumbai will never leave me, even when i leave it. whenever it will rain ,i will always wonder if it is raining in mumbai , and if sion and parel junction are already underwater. every attested xerox copy will remind me of joshi madam. every cutting chai, of the college canteen[thoughj i doubt that there will be a term as cutting] even the rocky beaches will remind me of bandra band stand. side rooms will remind me of ward 4 a harrowed interns of salagre funny quotes always remind me of gr kothari's anatomy corridor blackboard. dal makhani of college lunches. bowling will always remind me of phoenix mills, sunday lunches will always remind me of mess ke uncle,chicken biryani will remind me of mess uncle. pink falloodas will remind me of the hostel mess.. mongini cakes will remind me of hostel birthdays,streetwear lipsticks and tribal wear earrings from lifestyle will remind me...

somethings in life are beyond words,and sometimes, the emotions and feelings are so potent and ... i don't know..terrifyingly real, that they defy words , and are thus unbloggable. sometimes one is faced with the realities of life, and the virtual world of a blog are unable to capture the essence of what u 'felt' experienced' or 'lived through'. sometimes ...life happens... i read somewhere that the mental life and the organic life are running parallel.. fixing a broken down car in the middle of a desserted road.. losing your daughter in a crowded mall.. hearing that your friend has met with an accident.. learning that u have a life threatening disease.. these are moments whoch demand so much that u are at a loss of words, it is like a dry tap during a bone marrow aspiration. when the bone marrow has excessive number of cells and u do a bone marrow aspiration u paradoxically get ;no cells;technically a dry tap. thats coz the cells are packed so tightly together ...

Breathing..one of the most basic of functions,the most essential of life forces .. inspire and expire..or as pranayam says..inspire to the count of four..hold..expire to the count of eight..hold.. to breath is to live and to control breathing ..is to control your life.. pranayam helps to channel this 'movement 'of breath ..so that we may grow inwards and go forwards... as i go through anulom vilom ,kapalbhati..i think to myself.. INSPIRE...to take in..to make out is outside ,inside... to accept... to make something which was hitherto alien into now,a part of yourself... insire...gives rise to inspiration.. to be inspired ,is to allow yourself to be touched,moved,affected by the outside. to be inspired is to grow an evolve... to say that someone or something is an inspiration ,means that we owe a part of who we are to our'inspiration' EXPIRE ...to give..to sread what is essentially ours to the rest of the world... to return a part of what we have got... it is said in yog...

Love...no matter how young or old or educated or learned one is ,there is a yearning for ,love. Einstein says,'how can u explain in terms of physics and chemistry,such an important biological phenomenon of first love'. Shakespeare wrote plays, young girls have written poems, college boys have slashed wrists,ppl have married,eloped,killed and died..all in the name of love.. and what better season and time to celebrate such a universal feeling as love,than february. It isn't enough to just feel ,but it is important to show and tell and sing about your love.it is important to show u care and value a person.that someone is important to u.a flower smells sweet even as a closed bud but only when it blooms does it actually spread it's scent . You might say it doesnt make a difference to the flower ,but it is important for the bees and butterflies,because only in the scent do they know of the flower's love for them..ok so that was too metaphorical.. anyways so what i mean ...

the title of a best selling book..dont sweat the small stuff..with the fine print saying..and its all small stuff. chindigiri as i call it... so this is my chindigiri of the day.. i am obsessing about my completion,my log book needs signatures of lecturers[ mental note; the log book is about 30" by 15"] infact i need a sign on the anaesthesia page of the logbook[ mental note; that is a single page in a 150 odd page book] the anaesthesia posting lasted 10 or 15 days..and i have obsessed about it for hours and hours.. my thought process... it's been over 6 months,will they sign the page?who do i get the sign from,i don't remember her name,what if they dont sign the page?what if she scolds me?will the hod sign?when does she sign?i need a completion by friday..will i wont i....and it goes on and on ... there u r ladies and gntleman , sweating the small stuff.. why do we do this ... or rather how do we do this.. in reality i am bothered about one signature ,in one page, i...